*Scientific environment. Serious, sincere spokesperson.*
SCIENTIST: "We at Bridgestone have a passion for excellence and your safety is our highest concern."
*Montage of actual tests that are performed on tires, scientists checking off lists with approval*
SCIENTIST: "In light of a recent event in Boston, we challenged our scientists to recreate those conditions to ensure that our standards are still being met."
*Close up of a pile of dog crap. A tire enters the picture from the left and flattens the pile with a squish*
SCIENTIST: "Still safe."
*Bridgestone logo with #BostonStrong below*